Making friends has always been hard for me I struggled at school and college I wasn't sociable; I was the quiet and shy one and spent time on my own. I was bullied and did nothing about it because I didn't have the confidence to speak up, so I just put up with it. After I left school and went to college I met new people, but I was still the quiet one who kept herself to herself. I started volunteering in 2010 in a charity shop which Mencap helped me get and when I first started, I didn't know what to do with myself, I felt awkward, and I wanted to quit but I stuck at it for 9 years in between having 3 paid jobs. I met new people at volunteering and after some time I came out my shell, started to speak more and I gained confidence. When I got my first paid job in 2011, I didn't make friends, and no one really spoke to me, and I just did the job then it ended because it was a Christmas one. In 2015 I got another Christmas job which was 2 buses away (not ideal) but at the time it was a job I met people, but I didn't make friends. After that I was still volunteering and not much was happening but in 2017, I got another job which was ideal and I did like it apart from one incident, I met people and spoke to them but again I didn't make friends to keep in contact with.
Having Fragile X Syndrome, a learning disability makes things harder, I find it difficult to strike up a conversation first, can't give eye contact and feel awkward in some situations. I come across as shy, quiet and withdrawn but once you get to know me, I find it easier to make conversations and while I won't always give eye contact, I am listening. I think if I'd got a job by now, I would've met people and made friends but unfortunately that hasn't happened and I've no idea what I'm going to do. I wish people would stop suggesting voluntary work because I did that for 9 years, I think that's long enough, and I deserve a paid job now. It would be nice to meet new people who share similar interests to me and are similar age. I'd also like to meet people who have Fragile X Syndrome so we could chat about how things are hard for us etc. I just don't know how or where to meet people as we're still in a pandemic and I can't get a job as so many businesses have gone or are making cuts.
I do try to be positive but sometimes it's hard and I know others have it worse, but I am allowed to feel down. I don't know what will happen in the next few months, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll be back with more posts soon.
Are you interested in any sport? My daughter made lots of friends by joining a tennis group for people with learning disabilities. She absolutely loves it. It's been brilliant for her.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment :) I will look into that and see if anything is on in my area
DeleteHi my 17 year old son has Fragile X & he finds it difficult to make friends too. When he does have a friend it is tricky to maintain the friendship as it needs support from someone else to help him talk to his friend about their common interests or taking them on an outing so they have something mutual to talk about & experiences to share. One thing i have noticed over lockdown is my son is much more comfortable seeing his peers on a screen (for a bingo/craft/quiz session). When these were only ‘in person’ he struggled to attend the group and most often didn't go as the transition was too much. Is there an online group you could try to join for quiz night or similar? It’s a nice option as you can turn down the volume, put your camera on or off or just leave if it’s not for you. Stay positive - I really enjoy reading your blogs thank you for the insight!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment :) I think I'm okay once I meet people and get to know them I don't need any encouragement but I agree that is hard to keep friendships as things change and people change. The 3rd lockdown has been hard for me, I've not used zoom and I've felt more lonely, the previous lockdowns I was going for walks everyday and getting outside which really helped. I'm not sure if there is a quiz but I will look into that as that might be a good idea. Thank you I'm glad you like my blog :)
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